By Karis Gayos
CFC SFL Canada
A year has passed, and I myself have been wondering how my life had been, where it got to, and where it is headed, since last year when I first experienced that “spiritual high” mostly everyone experience every after congress. Honestly, I don’t know where my life had gotten — or if it did reach the path that God directed me to the year before. God, where am I really headed? A question that has been there — stayed there, but not really knowing its purpose — it was left unopened and unanswered.
It has been a tough year, considering that a year ago I was separated from my family to finish my studies. It sucks knowing that you only get to see your family twice a year, say goodbye twice a year, and feel the
discomfort of being alone the rest of the year, without them. As I boarded the plane en route to Toronto, I began to question myself again if I was really meant to be there. Closing my thoughts, this has been a difficult flight for me, not only because I was saying goodbye to the family I was leaving behind or the fact that I really didn’t want to be separated from them again, but because of the void that was once again empty. I started to pray on the plane asking Him for strength, and an open mind. An open mind for the things I’m about to learn and experience.
As soon as I saw the congress IDs, my heart leaped — a bit of excitement, and a weekend to remember was about to begin. ‘Faithbook’ greeted me, as I read it above my name with a verse in my head, ‘Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.’ (Hebrews 11:1). I knew then that this would be the weekend that will fill the void and mend the brokenness of my heart.
Session after session, workshop after workshop, meeting old and new friends, eating healthy and not-so healthy-food, conversations after another, the awaited Session 3 and Exposition was about to begin. This is a time between Him and I, and nothing else matters at that moment. I remembered my very first exposition when I was immensely overcome with grief. This time, as predictable as it may have seemed, I was ready to let it all out — pain, suffering, pain, hurt, pain, pain, and more pain. I was prepared to let it all out as I called His name.
I called Him and as the priest entered, I kneeled before Him. I expected the tears to fall, but it didn’t. I expected my heart to hurt, but it didn’t. I expected guilt to possess me, but it didn’t. Instead I looked at Him, smiled, and when He looked back at me, I shed a tear – tear of joy. No greater amount of joy or peace could possibly describe the feeling that I felt when His face, although a source of light, watched over me. This is Love.
I was filled with gladness that I wanted to dance. My heart was happy. I was genuinely, truly happy. I was trying to drag the people beside me to dance and jump with me during the worship too. It was a great experience, and it didn’t even end there yet. As Congress was about to end, the whole theme, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you, life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you and your descendants may live.” (Deut 30:19) was closed off by Session 4, I came to realize that choosing the obvious was the key to answering my question. It was obvious from the beginning. God, where am I headed? If I just rephrased the question into a statement and added a period, my answer was so obvious from the beginning… ‘I am headed to You, God.’ I choose You. I choose life.
So open your Faithbook today and choose the obvious. Dare to Choose God.