Overcoming Fears with Love

Written by Jepoy Meneses on . Posted in Sharing

By Janers Zuniega
CFC SFL District of Pasig

Janers Zuniega

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me

If there’s one thing that continuously echoes and resounds in my mind during and after what happened after World Singles Congress 2014, it is God’s unending and unconditional love.

It was my second time to attend WSC, and just like the first time, I was overwhelmed at how God works through all the people who were present at the conference – from the organizers, speakers, facilitators, participants, and everyone present during those three days of encountering Christ. This year’s theme – Empowered To Witness (2 Timothy 1:7-8) was very powerful and when I saw what was written in the conference shirt – Missionary 24/7, I was caught off guard. I was thinking, “How can I be a missionary 24/7? What do I have to offer? Do I really have a story to tell?” These questions were the ones I had in my heart when we came to the conference. I was so excited to attend the conference because I had a wonderful WSC experience last year and I never thought that this year’s conference would have a bigger impact not just on me, but to the people around me. And this is my story.

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains

Janers ZuniegaBefore going to the conference, I have a really heavy heart because I was facing a lot of challenges which started last December 2013. I found out that I have stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease, an irreversible kidney failure. The doctor was not able to trace what caused the problem but both kidneys were damaged so all functions of my kidneys were affected. When I found out about it, the first thing I felt was fear – fear for my family since I am the bread winner of the family and I’m afraid of how we will be able to cope up with it. As I always do, when faced with the unknown and a problem, I run to the adoration chapel and just asked God to give me and my family strength to face my illness. While undergoing medications, we were all praying for a miracle to happen.

During this time, I was undergoing the process of regularization in the company I was working for. I was so excited because I had been waiting for that moment for 2 years already and it is also my dream company since I was in college. Unfortunately, the week before my “supposedly” first day as a regular employee, the HR called me and told me that they won’t be able to continue hiring me as regular employee because of my medical condition. It was a major heartbreak for me. First, my health was unstable, and then I lost the job I’ve been wanting for a long time and I was so worried about my family. But the pain didn’t stop here, same month, I got my heart broken because of a guy. Honestly, it was so painful that I got numb from all the pain I was feeling that time. I was so lost and I really don’t know what to do. I was crying all the time, I was thinking, “Ok, what’s next? Can I still handle these things?”

Though I was crying from all these misery, it led me closer to Him. I kept my communications open to all my friends and loved ones. I go to mass everyday and go to the adoration chapel without realizing I’ve been spending hours kneeling in front of Him. I didn’t even ask Him why everything was happening, I just tell him, “Lord, I am here, tell me how to overcome this. Tell me, Lord what to do, I would do it. Give me strength to face this. I surrender everything to You because I know I can’t make it on my own.” This prayer gave me strength and the courage to face everyday with a smile on my face.

On and one and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains

And so WSC came, I was so thankful to the people who made it possible for me to be a part of this life changing experience because it was during WSC that God affirmed me that everything is part of His great plans for me. It was here that I understand that He wants me to just surrender all my doubts and fears to Him because His love is enough to take away all the hurts and pains that I have in my heart. He reminded me that His love for me is greater than anything. During Session 3, I was overwhelmed with the talk that despite all my sinfulness, my shortcomings, the times I forgot to thank Him for the blessings that I received, He’s still there for me, embracing me, welcoming me with open arms, reminding me of His love. It was then during the exposition that I surrendered everything to Him and I felt His comforting love covering every part of me.

God didn’t stop there, during the Praise fest on the last day, when Fyron asked everyone to pray for their household, that was when I felt like I was drowning of love – God’s love through the whole district of Pasig. I was Jesus – high that time, I can’t even contain all the love I was feeling when everyone was praying for me. That’s where I got the all the courage to really trust God and allow Him to take full control of my life.

In death and in life I’m confident and covered
by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there’s nothing that can separate my heart
from your great love

Janers ZuniegaWeeks after WSC, March 13 to be exact, I had another check up and I received more shocking news from the doctor. My CKD has rapidly progressed from Stage 4 to stage 5 – dialysis stage. Alarmed from that revelation, I wasn’t even able to react to all he had said, I just remembered he told me to continue with the medicines for another month and wait if my kidneys would still respond to the medication. I cried and cried at the adoration chapel after leaving the hospital without even uttering anything. Then I told my family and friends about it who cheered me up, but it was difficult to absorb anything. Then a friend told me to get a second opinion, so that we’ll know if there are any other options aside from dialysis since I was really afraid of undergoing that treatment after hearing from other people what is done in dialysis. And so the following day, I went again to the adoration chapel and cried my heart out, I felt like a child telling his father everything that is in her heart. It took me hours kneeling there but I remembered the last words I told my Father, “Lord, this cross may be difficult, but I will carry this for I know that You will never leave me. I promise You one thing, I will never let this sickness hinder me from serving You more, but I will use this trying times to inspire Your people and to love others more. For if Your love never fails in me, I would share it to everyone.”

Our God hears our prayers, I seek for another doctor and she gave me other options and hopefully it would work. I got admitted for three days in the hospital and God really made me feel how much He loves me. People were praying and making me happy while I was confined at the hospital. People kept on telling me that I inspire them because of the faith and the strength that they see in me. And all of this strength, I’m getting it from God’s love for me. How can I give up now when God’s grace has found me, He was just waiting for me to surrender everything to Him, to let go and let Him take care of me now.

This is my faith story.

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