by Monica Miranda, SFL Laguna
To love is a wonderful gift. To know that you’re loved makes you feel complete. It makes you feel that every inch of you has worth, but what happens when he who makes you feel complete makes you also question your worth?
Experiencing Pain at First Love
I always dreamt that my first love is the man who’ll bring me to the altar. I was just 15 years old when I met my first love. He came into my life at the right time when I felt everyone was leaving me. He did everything to make me feel worthy, from the way he looked at me, to how he listened to me, and cared for me. This was the first time I let my guard down and let someone make me feel like a complete person.
But the time came when our relationship fell apart. He slowly turned away from me until he no longer involved me in his life. Suddenly, he just stopped loving me. The person who used to make up my entirety left my heart empty. Since then, I felt I’m not worthy of anything, that I’m not worth anything.
Healing from Heartache
Two years passed me by, and my life was still hollow, until something happened. There’s a saying that right love comes when you least expect it. I guess it did for me. From out of the blue, I met someone who became an instrument into finding myself again. Being invited to World Singles Congress in Lucban, I said “yes” even without knowing anyone. Though my WSC 2015 experience didn’t move me enough to feel complete again, it inspired me to join a series of SFL events, from LBS to CLS. My heart longed more and more for Jesus. Little by little, I saw myself picking up the pieces of my identity. I found my One True Love as I journey into life as an SFL.
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Why should I be scared? Why won’t I say “yes”? By saying yes to everything that He is offering, he changed me. He made me see the beauty in the pain and brokenness I felt. The Lord taught me to empty my heart so that He could fill me up with His right kind of love. For me to realize that I’m worthy, He gave His life for me. He used my journey for me to discover, to know, and to love Him. In that journey He made me feel that He could be enough. Yes, Christ is enough for me.