by Paulina Jane Agulto, SFL Rizal
I always believed that Family is the most precious gift one can ever receive from God. My family plays a big part in my life, of who and where I am now. All the best laughs are experienced with them and got through difficulties because of them at my side. Growing up with my family, every day I open my eyes with beautiful sight of my family sharing happy moments. I have a collection of fun and unforgettable family bonding experiences in my childhood days. These memories were the best times of my life.
But what if these memories were all shuttered because of problems you didn’t thought could happen in your family? When all your life’s source of happiness and strength became the reason for you to experience pain, anxiety and depression. This became a test of faith to God for me and my family.
The difficult moments
When your childhood memories let you believed that it is normal for parents to have misunderstanding and small fights, it never came into my mind that it is possible to worsen and became a daily routine at home. Problems piled up more because of my parent’s vices up until it was daunting to see our family relationship is slowly falling apart. The best memories of your life were replaced by these frightening experience where all you could think of are questions of why your family deserved this kind of difficulty.
In spite of the obstacles we encountered, my family was able to keep our head above water and continued to put Christ at the center of our relationship. Then, just when I thought my prayers to God were answered already as my family’s relationship is improving, the unthinkable happened. My mom passed away. It was like my family had been hit by an earthquake of tragedy. Witnessing my mom closing her eyes and bid goodbye was the saddest moment of my life.
Recovering from a loss
After overcoming the spark of anxiety from my parents’ almost broken relationship, I was fanned into a flame of terror not imagining how life would be without a mother. It was really difficult to accept that one of your life’s foundation is already gone. I almost want to quit. I blamed myself every single day, “wala man lang ako nagawa para madugtungan ang buhay ng mama ko.” During these hopeless moments, our merciful and loving God didn’t gave up on me. Our Father embraced me with His comforting love and care like a child hugged by her mother. His relentless mercy allowed me to forgive myself and others. All I did was just to surrender everything to Him and let go of my fears and doubts.
Right now, our family lives day by day taking one step at a time to make our relationship stronger after my mother’s loss. We are recovering from grief knowing that she is already with our Heavenly Father. With the healing hands of God, our family looks forward to new happy moments with our mother watching over us and live a better life through God’s grace. In time, our family will all be together again in the arms of our loving Father.
Image credit here.