By Abraham Aquino Bitancor
CFC SFL Laguna
I already booked my flight leaving for Cebu last year of November or October. It was an early preparation to secure my attendance to the conference.
Everyone was so excited that even I was so very overwhelmed to the total no. of delegates that our chapter will be sending to CEBU.
I was so into the community already. And I was even ready to sacrifice things if missions come on my way and may need my hands.
I adore our community so much because everyone seems to be dedicating their times to such activities that this community may hold.
But it’s true, the more you get closer to GOD, the more you submit yourself to GOD, and the more ‘Taning’ (Satan’s Filipino nickname) will make an effort to pull you from pursuing HIS kingdom.
I asked myself, why would ‘Taning’ do this to me, then? If there are people who are worse than me? If criminals are free running around the nation? And a brother answered me with a question: Why would you invite someone to join your party if he/she is already with you?
I got there. I was tempted. I was brainwashed by my bad conscience. I opened up my eyes to have a clearer vision and even stepped-up to gain wider perspective. And I saw some dying plants and even trees that no longer bear fruit. I looked after myself so high that I forgot to bow down.
I compared myself to them. That I even got to a certain point when I asked myself: Why did these people make me realize how happy to serve the community then soon leave me alone? It’s like they showed and toured me to a wonderful room then locked me up inside.
I had HARD FEELINGS. I judged them. Not just them, but the entire community as well and in general.
I thought, nothing’s wrong with my thoughts until I realized things: That I LOST my wisdom. I lost the gift that GOD has given me. Maybe because I once became a Pharisee who just use KNOWLEDGE to give reasons and to interpret things.
WSC came. I prayed to GOD that I will get the answers that my mind finds difficult to provide.
First day, I was overwhelmed because I already felt the love that GOD has for me. The Love that I put aside for some time which made me more a ‘community centered’ one than a ‘Christ centered’ one.
I will never forget that TALK that was delivered to us. That one about the prodigal son. The parable that I already know since I was kid. But little did I know, it was actually a story which I don’t fully understand.
Second day came and God grant me His mercy. I was so more overwhelmed by that feeling.
That weekend has been the most memorable one. Because it refreshed me. It reminded me and made me feel the Love and Mercy of God again.
I thought, it’s already the highlight of the event. I thought it ends there — receiving God’s love and mercy— but no. What actually made it more memorable to me was when I started to kneel. Bow down. And be humble.
That moment when I realized that I should not be selfish to the MERCY and LOVE GOD gave me.
It was difficult. But I started approaching the people who I hurt before, who I judged before and who I believe have been affected by my rants. I said sorry. I apologized. I gave mercy. And I extended my love.
That for me is the best feeling so far. To make people feel what God has made me feel. Loved. And cared.
And to this I shall move forward. I learned and should not do and think about same things again.
To make a team, you should not tell them to start moving. Instead, you should show them how things should be done.
Sometimes, you think you’re stepping-up because you just want something good for your team without even knowing and noticing that you’re actually becoming too over controlling already.
Be an inspiration that the society needs and not malignant-pain-causing individual that people will tend to avoid. We should just do things what God wants us to do. For whatever the Father does, shall the Son do.