Sailing Towards My Vocation

Written by SFL AMP on . Posted in Article, Sharing

A Sharing by Dhei Puoayan from SFL Pasig
“Never stop dreaming until you reach the horizons that God has prepared for you and there, new dreams will be made by you and the Father.”

The concept of the horizon amazes me. Imagine. The horizon is where the heaven and earth meet- the limit of what is possible. As for me, it is where my dreams are. Let me share to you my story.

I am a graduate of BSBA major in internal auditing. Ever since I got into college, I knew I made a wrong decision by taking up the course that I didn’t really want. I was thinking of shifting into another course but I felt that everything would be put into waste. I can still remember that moment when I told my friend just a few months before my graduation that I was sure that I won’t last long in a corporate world. He asked me what I wanted to do, but I couldn’t answer because I still didn’t know what I really wanted to do with my life or the direction that God wants me to go to.

A few days after my graduation, I was blessed to have a regular position in a good company as an accounting assistant. However, I found that everything was routinary and personally, I didn’t find it life giving. There was no room for professional growth so I decided to leave. Shortly after, I was blessed to have an internal audit position in another prominent company but still, I couldn’t find or feel the fulfillment in what I was doing. I was not happy.

It was during that moment when God made it clear before me the path that he wanted me to take. The desire to help children through teaching burns inside my heart. I talked to my parents about it, filed my resignation and enrolled for the certification for professional education for me to be able to take the Licensure Examination for teachers.

To cut the long story short, I am now preparing for the board exams this coming September. Do I have regrets? No, I am happy. In fact, very happy!

While preparing for the boards, I do part time tutoring and the joy that I get from teaching the kids give my heart so much fulfillment and happiness. Yes it’s tiring. Yes, it doesn’t make that much money. But, I guess, doing what you love is something that helps your heart grow. I can still remember a line from a retreat that I attended last 2014 which said, “kapag yung passion mo ay nakaka-contribute sa society, ‘yun ang vocation mo.”
Today, I am sailing towards that horizon, my vocation, that I believe God has prepared for me. And as I reach that same horizon that my eyes saw from the shore, another dream will be made by me and my Father. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love the most. Dreaming is reaching the limit of what is possible!

To The One Who Let Me Go

Written by SFL AMP on . Posted in Article

“Hope that you fall in love and that it hurts so bad, the only way you know that you gave it all you have.” – Lyrics from the song I Lived by One Republic, 2013

To the One Who Let Me Go,

When I watched your back as you walked away through hazy eyes, I promised not to cry. When you hadn’t called me for days on end, I promised I wouldn’t miss you and in that unrealistic promise managed to fall into the temptation of texting you or stalking you to see if you were as miserable as I was. When friends told me you were with someone new much earlier than my wounded heart expected, I promised to seek vengeance and looked forward to the day I would be much happier than you. Only to find that I was getting more desperate to escape.

 

Because I had made you dopamine, my sugar rush, my comfort food, the ultimate source of my happiness, and I was wrong for doing so. It was easier to move on if I pinned all the blame on you but bitterness did nothing but rob me of my joy. I chose to forget all the reasons why I had loved you and how that love had transformed me. My heart got coated by the lie that you owed me for loving you, and for giving myself to you. My heart got coated by lies of insecurity and worthlessness, and my pain shrouded my eyes from seeing the beauty I once saw in you and the beauty that still existed around me. I’m sorry for robbing you of your goodness in my life.
But I’m writing now because I wanted to thank you. I wanted to thank you for letting me go because when you did, my life went through an unexpected overhaul, and the way I loved changed dramatically. It gave room for me to realize that sometimes things have to be taken away from us in order for us to desire to have the essential.

 

Swimming in the rock bottom of the ocean of broken hearts showed me the people who would stay with me, the things I could do, the horizons I had yet to discover, what I wanted in the person I would choose to spend the rest of my life with, and more importantly it brought me back to what I was originally designed to be, one that loves. My heart has expanded so much that I can come to this point of thanking you and keeping all that we had in a good place of my heart.

 

You see, when I was beating myself up for failing you, for failing myself, God found a crack for His mercy to come in. His divine mercy flowing from His also wounded heart, flowed in slowly into my own heart until the walls of that tiny crack could not hold His mercy any more. I’m writing to tell you that the walls have finally caved in, and that I am drowning. But no longer in the lies that have stopped my heart from authentically loving, but now I’m drowning in the mercy that abounds. I have come to the truth that God owes me nothing, and yet He still gives me everything. So I’m giving this to you, my genuine prayer of peace and gratitude because I would have never have come to see who I am today if you had not let me go. I would have never come to the point of loving with all I had, until it hurt, because I knew that loving another was worth it. If you had not let me go, I would have never realized that this once broken human heart becomes capable of the Divine when it loves like Christ did. So with all of me, thank you.

Yours Sincerely,
The One You Let Go Made New

Beyond Blessed

Written by SFL AMP on . Posted in Sharing

 by Marbe Sagarino, SFL Pasig

I prayed for discernment and He gave me prudence.

Exactly 3 years ago, I was on a flight to Brazil – a place I never dreamt of going to for a life-changing event that I never thought I would ever be a part of.  It took only a year before that for me to experience inexplicable joy just by exiting a destructive relationship.  And I packed with me a prayer for discernment: “Lord, will you be assigning me a new life buddy?  Will I leave my job which asks me to promote against Life?  Will I ever know which path to choose?”  And because I l had learned to surrender everything, I was not only given a natural gift of impulse.  With the help of the Church and my community, I have also been given guidance to the moral judgment of my actions.  Now, I may not necessarily know where I am headed for everyday but I know that the little things I do are of God.  I thank Him for this gift of prudence.

I prayed for patience and He gave me constancy.

Early on in my career, I was used to job grade promotions and salary escalations in a matter of months.  I was impatient with life and wanted to conquer heights.  But when I prayed to God for patience, He made sure I would get really it.  Now, I am seeing 5 years of immobility but not without grace and constant learning, which is the bottom line of all my aspirations.  I found faithful learning through tough diligence while experiencing the rigor of life.  I now have maturity; constancy.

I prayed for companionship and He gave me LOVE.

Being an only child made me long for a sense of belongingness.  That is why I never want to be alone especially when I again dropped out from that 7-year “friendship.”  I sought for companionship in the mountains and in various random trips with random people.  But God eventually led me to prayer groups and “household” systems which brought me tears, laughter and “magical” moments with newfound “brothers and sisters.”  If this ain’t LOVE, I don’t know what is.  So I thank Him for everything.  For who I was, what I had gone through and who I am today because of grace.  I am more than blessed.  I am more.

No One Else Like You

Written by SFL AMP on . Posted in Article

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?
– Ian Wallace, What a girl wants, 2003

There are people we look up to and admire, people we strive to be like. There are also people we want to be with, and are willing to change ourselves for. There are individuals who have changed their appearances, thinking that changing themselves physically will magically turn them into the person they admire, or that they will finally become the one the person they long for will finally love. There are also those who change themselves, let go of what they had once stood for just to be accepted by their peers. These people change themselves with this burning desire to be loved. But it does not work that way. You cannot compromise who you are in order to be loved by another. You choose to block people from knowing you and loving you for who you are.
You cannot expect another to love you if you do not love yourself; if you do not who you are, your past mistakes, your current circumstances and every thing you come with. You have to be the first to embrace your being unique, beautiful and unrepeatable before you find someone to appreciate all those things about you. Stop trying so hard to be someone you are not. You have a purpose that only you can fulfill, and when you don’t pursue it and fulfill it, you rob people of the chance to be blessed by you fulfilling it and you rob yourself of the chance to be blessed by it. Do you not think that people deserve that chance?
So please, do not shortchange yourself. Remember that when God created you, He saw you, and said “You are good”. And you may forget that often, and the harshness of the world may wall your heart from that truth, but please, allow God to break down those walls to unearth the treasure that He created you to be.
There is no one else like you, so you matter.
Give yourself a chance and maybe you will start to see the gem that you are; precious in every single facet of your being. Be not afraid to see what you were meant to be. Let the arms of your Creator envelope you so that every missing, rough and broken edge, will turn into nothing less than glorious.
CFC SFL Households

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